The day is February 14th 2012, the courage has finally kicked in and i decided to go with my guts. Not only the butterflies, i could sense every living creatures crawling inside my tummy, kind of a sick feeling, but this is the final option and the only option in front of me. The decision has being made and that is to reveal my LOVE for her.
The story actually started in june 2010, when i joined for higher secondary education in Sreepuram ICSE english medium school, the school name might give me a standred that's why i am specifying it perticularly, unlike others who ran here and there to join some state syllabus school for scoring more and to get good rank in entrance exam, i was calm and joined the same school where i completed my my SSLC. Later my friends who left the school came back to there itself and that is a different story altogether, lets stick with the original story. After admitting myself in the same school, i was neither happy nor sad but i was determined to change my behavior of being a nerd sitting in the front bench.
Oh yes, i was a total nerd at those times, much worse than what i am now( self assessment), I dont remember a single day where i didnt talk something which is not related to science or maths. Unfortunately being a nerd means no girlfriends, obviously they see nerds as a potential threat to their general knowledge and exam score. So we where always made fun of behind our back, i used the term 'we' to acknowledge the nerds and to highlight their problems. But the real problem was my inability to talk with girls and that was a real issue with me. So this is the background till my 10th standered, and i was determined to change it at any cause, and there starts my story.
The rainy season has not completely taken over, only a slight drizzle here and then, but the monsoon effect has already started. The same feeling of laziness all these years to go to school in the cold rainy mornings, but for me its a new beginning, the transformation has to start from that very day, or atleast try to transform. Many of my friends has left the school in search of 'marks' and the remaining few have chosen biology stream, leaving me isolated in the engineering stream. 7 girls and 22 boys that was our class. I was a total stranger in that class even though i have seen most of the boys and girls before in that school, and i was the shortest kid in that class which made me even more isolated, all my plans of transformation and regeneration went into water after seeing that class, and i never bothered to look towards the girls side, Most of the other kids knew each other and they already made bench mates and i was staring at the blackboard feeling numb and lonely. I deliberately chose the last bench to feel what its like to study from there, but i was asked to move front due to my height. I am destined to be a nerd and even the universe is supporting that, my sense of loneliness was reaching its maximum and my eyes filled up for no reason. And my bench mate was similar to me short, nerd and lonely, but he enjoyed the front bench and liked to answer questions before it was even asked.
Days passed nothing has really changed, i was getting used to it slowly, and then one incident happened, our english teacher told us to prepare for a debate, the following week, and it will be a group exercise. A guy named Albert was my team mate and he was quite nice towards me, never showed any hesitation in talking with me and never ignored my opinions, he was my bridge from my lonely world to my social world, i never had any good relations with my neighborhood kids, so basically he was my only non nerd friend, i made friendship with other guys in the class through him and to my suprize none of them were judgmental at all, it was my inferiority complex all the time and i never tried to believe against it. Slowly the wind started to change its direction, and it was really difficult for me to change from being studious to being stupidous, But that is a necessary requirement to be in a cool kids club, now a days you have to smoke pot or drink liquor to be in that group, lucky for me i had to only skip my homework for being COOL, the whole world started to change for me, even the way i look at things changed. But i enjoyed every bit and the whole system became eventful. A bunch of friends can really change you inside out.
Time will fly when we start to enjoy life, and same happened with me, and a new problem came up with that, the Love Story, every boy like to hear his name linked with some beautiful looking girl, and most of my friends linked themselves with some girl or the other and i was left alone in the gang. Now my ego started to work, and i was in search of a girl with whom i can link myself, i had some names in my mind, but those girls were far out of my reach, the very next day i went to class and started observing the girls of my class, i am not saying that i never talked to them before, i surely did, but i actually started observing them from that day onwards, none of them inspired or excited my feelings, most of them looked blunt and lifeless, but i was not to give up and picked the best among the lot and started staring at her intentionally in front of my friends so that they could just cook up the story for me, neither my friends noticed nor that girl, my ego kept on growing of not having a so called girlfriend to chat with. And finally i decided to tell Albert about this girl issue i was facing, but the way i presented the issue to him was a bit different, i told him that i love her and i am afraid to tell her about it, he was shocked to hear that, but as a loyal friend he kept that a secret and started giving me tips on how to tackle this, he never said anything to other guys because he believed that they will tell this to her immediately and will spoil the whole plan of me proposing her.
To my suprize, the way i look at that girl completely changed after some days,(the name of the girl will not be disclosed), some feelings started to grow inside my heart for that girl, and most surprisingly she started to look more beautiful day after day, you see guys i am no romeo to give lectures on love, but this incident made me believe that there is something called love and my friends where not lying about it when they share their love stories, i never tried to talk with her for she was a silent girl who barely made any kind of noise, unlike other girls in the class who always made a hell of noise, she simply sat listening to them giving a sweet smile in response, and the worst part was that she never talked with boys, which made my feelings even stronger towards her, i made friends with all the other girls in the class just to get information about her, without her knowledge, that was a very difficult job, girls are good in making stories and to gossip it within their friend circle, so i had to be extra careful of not to reveal anything to them, but that plan failed miserably, those girls were smarter than i thought,but my feelings for her never changed and it only kept on growing. What a development from being a nerd to being a lover boy, at some stage i even felt proud of myself, like that was some great achievement.
To be continued...
The story actually started in june 2010, when i joined for higher secondary education in Sreepuram ICSE english medium school, the school name might give me a standred that's why i am specifying it perticularly, unlike others who ran here and there to join some state syllabus school for scoring more and to get good rank in entrance exam, i was calm and joined the same school where i completed my my SSLC. Later my friends who left the school came back to there itself and that is a different story altogether, lets stick with the original story. After admitting myself in the same school, i was neither happy nor sad but i was determined to change my behavior of being a nerd sitting in the front bench.
Oh yes, i was a total nerd at those times, much worse than what i am now( self assessment), I dont remember a single day where i didnt talk something which is not related to science or maths. Unfortunately being a nerd means no girlfriends, obviously they see nerds as a potential threat to their general knowledge and exam score. So we where always made fun of behind our back, i used the term 'we' to acknowledge the nerds and to highlight their problems. But the real problem was my inability to talk with girls and that was a real issue with me. So this is the background till my 10th standered, and i was determined to change it at any cause, and there starts my story.
The rainy season has not completely taken over, only a slight drizzle here and then, but the monsoon effect has already started. The same feeling of laziness all these years to go to school in the cold rainy mornings, but for me its a new beginning, the transformation has to start from that very day, or atleast try to transform. Many of my friends has left the school in search of 'marks' and the remaining few have chosen biology stream, leaving me isolated in the engineering stream. 7 girls and 22 boys that was our class. I was a total stranger in that class even though i have seen most of the boys and girls before in that school, and i was the shortest kid in that class which made me even more isolated, all my plans of transformation and regeneration went into water after seeing that class, and i never bothered to look towards the girls side, Most of the other kids knew each other and they already made bench mates and i was staring at the blackboard feeling numb and lonely. I deliberately chose the last bench to feel what its like to study from there, but i was asked to move front due to my height. I am destined to be a nerd and even the universe is supporting that, my sense of loneliness was reaching its maximum and my eyes filled up for no reason. And my bench mate was similar to me short, nerd and lonely, but he enjoyed the front bench and liked to answer questions before it was even asked.
Days passed nothing has really changed, i was getting used to it slowly, and then one incident happened, our english teacher told us to prepare for a debate, the following week, and it will be a group exercise. A guy named Albert was my team mate and he was quite nice towards me, never showed any hesitation in talking with me and never ignored my opinions, he was my bridge from my lonely world to my social world, i never had any good relations with my neighborhood kids, so basically he was my only non nerd friend, i made friendship with other guys in the class through him and to my suprize none of them were judgmental at all, it was my inferiority complex all the time and i never tried to believe against it. Slowly the wind started to change its direction, and it was really difficult for me to change from being studious to being stupidous, But that is a necessary requirement to be in a cool kids club, now a days you have to smoke pot or drink liquor to be in that group, lucky for me i had to only skip my homework for being COOL, the whole world started to change for me, even the way i look at things changed. But i enjoyed every bit and the whole system became eventful. A bunch of friends can really change you inside out.
Time will fly when we start to enjoy life, and same happened with me, and a new problem came up with that, the Love Story, every boy like to hear his name linked with some beautiful looking girl, and most of my friends linked themselves with some girl or the other and i was left alone in the gang. Now my ego started to work, and i was in search of a girl with whom i can link myself, i had some names in my mind, but those girls were far out of my reach, the very next day i went to class and started observing the girls of my class, i am not saying that i never talked to them before, i surely did, but i actually started observing them from that day onwards, none of them inspired or excited my feelings, most of them looked blunt and lifeless, but i was not to give up and picked the best among the lot and started staring at her intentionally in front of my friends so that they could just cook up the story for me, neither my friends noticed nor that girl, my ego kept on growing of not having a so called girlfriend to chat with. And finally i decided to tell Albert about this girl issue i was facing, but the way i presented the issue to him was a bit different, i told him that i love her and i am afraid to tell her about it, he was shocked to hear that, but as a loyal friend he kept that a secret and started giving me tips on how to tackle this, he never said anything to other guys because he believed that they will tell this to her immediately and will spoil the whole plan of me proposing her.
To my suprize, the way i look at that girl completely changed after some days,(the name of the girl will not be disclosed), some feelings started to grow inside my heart for that girl, and most surprisingly she started to look more beautiful day after day, you see guys i am no romeo to give lectures on love, but this incident made me believe that there is something called love and my friends where not lying about it when they share their love stories, i never tried to talk with her for she was a silent girl who barely made any kind of noise, unlike other girls in the class who always made a hell of noise, she simply sat listening to them giving a sweet smile in response, and the worst part was that she never talked with boys, which made my feelings even stronger towards her, i made friends with all the other girls in the class just to get information about her, without her knowledge, that was a very difficult job, girls are good in making stories and to gossip it within their friend circle, so i had to be extra careful of not to reveal anything to them, but that plan failed miserably, those girls were smarter than i thought,but my feelings for her never changed and it only kept on growing. What a development from being a nerd to being a lover boy, at some stage i even felt proud of myself, like that was some great achievement.
To be continued...
Nice way of narration
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